Carpe Diem

Diane and I are in the Tauntaun, and the sky is overcast (but just barely). It's mid-afternoon, and I suspect we will make it to Palos Verdes by 7:30. After refueling, Diane begs me to let her drive, even though she does not possess a driver's license. I give her the keys. She pulls onto the highway, and I say this:
"Diane, I want to be clear on something," I begin, "and I want this to be the last time we have this conversation."
Diane keeps driving, but she raises her eyebrows.
"I can't handle this anymore", I say. "I have been very clear about my feelings toward you. I have run out of ways to say I love You. So this is it. You have 3 weeks."
"I have 3 weeks to do what?"
"You have 3 weeks to decide if You want to be with me. And if your answer is that you do not want to be with me, I don't want to hang out with You, ever."
(silence)
"Chuck, I can't guarantee that I will be able to answer that question."
"You have to."
"This is unfair."
"I don't care."
(silence)
"If you think you love me so much, how would you be able to just cut off all contact with me?" Diane says. "That makes me question your sincerity."
"You know how these things work," I say. "This is how these things work."
(silence)
"That is so fucked-up," she says. "I can't decide whether or not I love you just because you say I have to."
"Well, maybe You can't. And if You can't decide, that's fine. But I will take 'I don't know' as a no, because it always means the same thing anyway."
"But if I haven't been able to make that decision in 2 years," she asks. "Why do you think I'll be able to make it in 3 weeks?"
"Because You don't have any other alternative. This is it. And even if You make no decision, that will count as a decision. So, in a way, there'sd really no pressure. I'll get back to you in 3 weeks, and You can tell me how you naturally feel, and that will dictate everything else.
Diane tries to pout but reflexively coughs. She sighs.
"Okay," she finally says. Maybe 20 seconds pass. "So this is your ultimatum?"
"This is my ultimatum," I respond. "My ultimatum has been made."
"That's fucked-up," says Diane. "You're fucked-up. But...okay. I'll make this fucked-up decision to satisfy the statute of limitations on your fucked-up ultimatum."
"Thank You," I say. "You know this is for the best."

I look away. Flags, followed by a wide, sweeping right turn. I can remember this clearly, because that's when I started to think that everything in my life would improve if we drove off the edge of those fucking cliffs.

End of an era. Thank you, McKenzie Becker. for everything youve done. nothing has ever made me happier. love always and forever,Jack Attack

A man said to the Universe: "Sir, I exist!" "However", replied the Universe, "the fact has not created in me a sense of obligation". Bravo Stephen Crane, bravo. There aren't many situations that stand as true as this one, and none that are more relevant than this at the moment.


or in this case... ma'am?

Dougie

Did it hurt?
Did it hurt?
Did it hurt when you fell from heaven, girl?

Did it hurt?
Did it hurt?
Did it hurt when you fell from heaven, girl?

La dada dada da da
La dada da da
La dada dada da da
La dada da da

<3

To answer Your question:

i don't really know.

everyday i come thisclose to calling you.

i come so close to driving the long way home, and parking just down the block, in our usual spot, and sifting through, like we always do.

but then i take a gander at my left hand. right where the heart used to always go. then i remember why.

you're dying from this? really? you did this.

it killed me.

close my eyes, make a wish, may she ditch the sinful ways that have plagued her to this day,

close my eyes, make a wish,i cant change her please change her she's in danger of driving me away...

scars heal faster then broken hearts.

"Your friends warned you: this bad bad boy makes her feel so good, this bad bad boy makes her feel SO good."

i still read what you wrote everyday. because after all, people don't forget.

what have you done lately?

p.s:

I can't relax. If you like me then check yes

and meet me after class.

R.I.P.

and you complain about a bad math grade.
and you complain about how your boyfriend cares too much.
and you complain about how he lied
and you complain about how much she complains.
and you complain that he looks at you funny.
and you complain about everything.
and I complain about everything.

and we should be happy we're alive.
and we should be happy we can complain.

-Kristin O'Brien

Make a wish...

Sometimes it's hard to say the right thing

The right way on the hardest day of your life

Breathe in breathe out, it'll be okay

Breathe in, they say the pain will fade away

And every year November gets closer

And every year it gets a little bit colder

Breathe in breathe out, it'll be okay

Breathe in they say the pain will fade away

One step at a time

One foot in front of the other

I'm gonna get through this one way or another

Cause I know it's warmer where you are

Cause no matter how far the view

I still always look up to you

The sun takes a second to sink in

That your life will never be the same again

Breathe in breathe out, it'll be okay

Breathe in they say the pain will fade away

And every year November gets closer

And every year it gets a little bit colder

Breathe in breathe out it'll be okay

Stay strong hold on make it through the day

One step at a time

One foot in front of the other

I'm gonna get through this one way or another

Cause I know it's warmer where you are

Cause no matter how far the view

I still always look up to you

I'll never forget the day my heart fell from my chest

It was the moment that I said goodbye

And I laid your body to rest

I'll never take this life for granted

I'm living it for two

Cause you're always the one who sang the songs

And I'm singing this one for you

One step at a time

One foot in front of the other

I'm gonna get through this one way or another

Cause I know it's warmer where you are

Cause no matter how far the view

I still always look up to you

I'll always look up to you

Dan O'Connor. you are THE Man.

Bill$

It's because I know she's a disaster
A walking mess, a master of misery
She's everything that possibly could go wrong
She'll always be a lifelong tragedy
And now I know that she's the one for me

I'm finding that I can no longer deny it
The risk of perjury
But my only hope
I can find my way back without being a casualty
With every blink of an eye she will constantly try
To destroy everything with a will to survive
But it's alright if you ask me
I'll go all night cause in this case anything goes
They want, you need to see

It's because I know she's a disaster
A walking mess, a master of misery
She's everything that possibly could go wrong
She'll always be a lifelong tragedy
That's how I know that she will always be
My third degree for alarm, emergency
The bane of our society
She'll always be a lifelong tragedy
That's how I know that she's the one for me

So take your best shot
I hope your hand is steady
Because we all know that your aim's not
Too dead on or accurate
You couldn't hit a fly
If you were standing in a pile of shit
Shake yourself off
Let me give you a word of advice
And just save yourself while you still can
Shake yourself off
And don't even think twice about it
Save yourself while you still can
I don't think that you understand

It's because I know she's a disaster
A walking mess, a master of misery
She's everything that possibly could go wrong
She'll always be a lifelong tragedy
That's how I know that she will always be
My third degree for alarm, emergency
The bane of our society
She'll always be a lifelong tragedy
That's how I know that she's the one for me

Shake yourself off
And don't even think twice about it
Save yourself while you still can
I'm finding that I can no longer deny it
The risk of perjury
But my only hope
I can find my way back without being a casualty

It's because I know she's a disaster
A walking mess, a master of misery
She's everything that possibly could go wrong
She'll always be a lifelong tragedy
That's how I know that she will always be
My third degree for alarm, emergency
The bane of our society
She'll always be a lifelong tragedy
That's how I know that she's the one for me

i can't.

not yet.

you wanted this.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

-Marianne Williamson

TAKE A HINT FUCK ME

Does anybody want to own up to this yet?

btw, i spent my night last night walking around, crying over my parents (divorce=inevitable) , and doing damage control. it'd be nice to have someone be there. but yet, i choose to be absent from my own life to be there for other. this shit really takes a toll on you. and yet i STILL can't sleep.

weird

dude fuck...fuck dude

might as well grow your hair out and toss all your flannels.

you're NOBODYS bro anymore

especially mine

Heroes

I've seen the best and worst of You,

but we're stickin' through

Cause without all the ups and DOWNS we've been through,

You know that it's true I could really get sick and tired of You.

(This is where You come in, I know that I can count on you to walk me through, and I'm making sure that anyone who's anyone can be the someone they've always wanted to)

quote

"I mean why would you subject yourself to so much abuse. because loving someone and not knowing if they love you back is the worst abuse in the world. or just knowing they dont love you back... yet you can't seem to get away... because you can't deny your heart of the truth."

6)

count 'em.

6

Today's the Day

English 1

Communications 1

History 2

Psychology 1

I am not afraid to fall in love,

I'm just scared i might land on my feet

Last night was fake,

and your face is everything that I've ever wanted

school will be the perfect distraction...right?

right?

right?

"sooo good"

so wrong.

*sigh*

insomnia.... we meet again.

don't worry, in the week off you've given me, I've only grown weaker.

I don't stand a CHANCE.

ugh

ihateyelling.alot.

Your Heart is Black and Blue

FINALLY, THE BREAKDOWN I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR

Done. with everything. with everyone. I'm hopping town and getting the fuck out of dodge. theres more to life than this spoiled-ass town, and i'll find it.

your lives aren't mine to lead. i need to find mine. I'll be out asap. and I'll leave my key on the counter. Dont look forward to it because I'm not lookin' back.

talk about a weak ass support system. well, I finally fell.

hit rock bottom too.

i wish as much as the next guy with a buzzcut that this breakdown was of the musical nature.

if only