Don't Let Me Go

tonight seems like a good night to blog. to reminisce. to remember

on a scale of 1-10:

wed: 9/10

i thought i missed you guys. but tonight you truly made me realize what you guys have done for me. you all redefined "treasured" in my heart. its good to have you all home.

(Dennys round 1: Hipolito owned joseph harred. with syrup. and we allowed the drunken meathead to scam on those poor girls behind us. we probably shouldve done something. oh well)

(1/1)

thurs:4/10

my family is kind of a joke. the food...mediocre at best. plus i burned the shit out of my mouth. never fun. but hey, you cant completely discount a night in which you play basketball with charlie and jenny sevy, and then be welcomed into their humble abode. i cant complain.

(Dennys round 2: oh hey man whats up. i made out with your sister. whoops)

(1/2)

fri:7/10

so i guess i bro'd out today. skappity skap then rageity rage. tonight was fun. meeting new people is fun. dont be surprised, socialize. Blackout Friday.

(Kettle Round 1: me, joseph, and ryan hadley gettin' shit done. and all at the low low price of $13.95. good shit boys, good shit)

(1.5/4)

sat: 5/10

well fuck. today couldve been better. not only did i wake up at 7:30 hungover only 4 hours after our late night, but i awoke to see my car trashed by a bunch of assholes. thank you to whoever was bored enough to go mess with my vehicle, and say things that lost my respect all at the same time. i send my most royal "Fuck You" to you, sir. needless to say, father was a bit upset when i showed up late to his baptism because SOMEBODY'S car was un-drivable and needed washing... great.

but then we folfed.

and then i saw things i never thought i'd ever be subjected to seeing: oh my god oh my god oh my GOD. you are disgusting. i cannot even look at you anymore. you are not related to me. get the fuck out. ohmygod.

(Kettle round 2: occurred before the spon-rage-ous events at casa de myles...therefore it is irrelevant)

(1.5/5)

sun: 6/10

today was well... long forthcoming i suppose. i dreaded today for multiple reasons, many of which weren't realized until the later hours.

bong cleaning, tomboys, dee-yon, dinobuttfuck, in n out, michaels, gasoline, team dheh, bedroom, "what happened last night", goodbye.

..........................................................goodbye. that could've been handled better. i'm sure of it. oh well. we'll get through it.

and then i walked. and then i talked. and then i walked some more. alot more. and then i realized the beauties and dangers of self-reflection (and singing like nobody can hear you when they actually can..)

(2/6)

i think i am in love with a man. and that man is Max Bemis. he basically ear-fucks me whenever im feeling especially angsty.

and i love it

oh and dear college folk:

GET

THE

FUCK

HOME!!!!!

Every Man Has a...well.. something

sometimes. i just wish i could just write songs. things would be so much easier. but regardless of what you say, not everybody can. i am one of those cursed with this inability. i'd trade anything in the world for it. well. almost anything.

blogs are stupid. how hypocritical of me right?

oh well. since when have i ever cared about what people think of me? oh wait. hypocrisy wins again

i am in love with your writing. i dont know why either. maybe its the honesty behind it? thatd make it the same reason my eyes are always drawn to yours.

(why would you write something- especially something like that- then delete and deny? its an oft-used movie line on my repertoire at this point, but people dont forget. and when you meet somebody like me.. somebody who REDEFINES stubborn... thats not leaving this memory bank anytime soon.)

i miss it. so much. i want to cry sometimes. i feel like i literally watched the last 2 years of my life on this fucking laptop. and you said it best. theres an enormous void. and i feel so

empty.

its good to know that i can share this pathetic trait of being trapped in high school with somebody else. even if you are..well... still trapped in high school. literally.

(this is the part where i apologize to my readers {how pretentious! my god!} for this inexcusable attempt at writing and creativity. for those of you that i bore easily, i recommend stumbleupon.com (jesus what a shameless plug..). it helps i swear. for those who ridicule and hate this "blog"...then dont fucking read it. for those of you who might..actually...legitimately like this.....your fucked. and maybe sick in the head. but youre forgiven. because whos to say that everything is in working order between my ears?

sometimes. i aim to disappoint.

but most of the time, i just care too much.

Oh, and You too:

Dear You,

i hope you're happy. or at least on the right track. people are shitty. People dont understand the consequences of their actions. I'm one to talk..right? He's not worth it. i promise. time to let it go. time to be FREE, be HAPPY.

and i know things grow rougher when day turns to night.

i wish i had the answer. but hell, i bet you do too.

im here though. whenever you need it. day night drunk or sober

Life can be good, you just have to realize it.

because god knows i love that smile of yours

(no matter how brace-y it is)

Dear You,

hi.

regardless of what you'd like to believe, i am still here.

you cant ignore me. i wont be shooed away that easily.

i know you're busy, but, aren't we all?

HELLO! HI! YES...YOU!

this is directed at YOU.

so,

if you've moved on.

let me know

.........because...

i HAVEN'T

and i refuse to live in an alternate life that only exists to make me happy

i'm STILL AROUND

DEAL

btw. i miss you. i guess more then anything this is a cry for attention. i've gotten more letters from your roommate then from you.

it's 1:11

can i still make a wish?