permanent jetlag

to whomever it may concern,

i am in a state of constant confliction.

I want this. somebody wants that. (dont read that as if its only one person, because its several)

and in order to keep that person or thing around, i-unfortunately- appease them

i want this. she wants that

i want her. nothing.

i want her. complication. on top of nothing.

i want to sleep, more then anything.

BUT I CAN’T

my life is here now. nothing can change that

if home is where the heart is, then we’re all just fucked

please call me only if you are coming home

lets get fucked up and die

its not your fault, your just far away

hey love

thats the best anyone can do

i dont think you want to know

why do you ask

i cant decide if i hate you, or if you are the most beautiful person ive ever met

you always just acted like you hated me

always and forever

and all i can think of is the way im the one who charmed the one

who gave up on you

walking out on the show, is walking out on you

i wanted to come home and kiss you

ive got troubled thoughts and the self esteem to match

We’ll be together against this, we’ll be forever against this

what a catch

we dont suck. we dont suck

you suck

are you out there?

can i call you tonight?

2 more weeks, my foot is in the door

you have nothing to worry about, dear

i avoid you to get bye,

but i come to you at the same time

i must confess

im in love with my own sins

Lets Get Fucked Up and Die

LGFUAD

i know its a motion city soundtrack song. and im not particularly a fan of their music

but ive been wanting to get this tattooed somewhere

because recently, its all ive been wanting to do.

but notice

the “Lets”

implies that im not alone

again, conflicting

fin

ps.

people only write blogs so that people can read what they write.

im just acknowledging that, not justifying or disproving or anything of the sort. just acknowledging